Death in the Family

Hello.

I mentioned in my last blog that there was a death in the family. There were some issues that needed to be dealt with but now are mostly resolved. I got a few stories from my trip that I will be sharing in the next few blogs.

When we heard the news that my maternal grandfather had "passed on", my mother, father and myself made plans to travel to Winnipeg (1300+ kilometers away). We considered driving there, briefly. The trip is approximately 14 hours and with 2 diabetics (both my parents have type 2 diabetes) we decided that a long "road trip" was "out of the question". So we "winged it".

We stayed with my aunt and her family. So there were four of us in their house for three days. We actually had a very nice visit, excluding the funeral aspect. We haven't seen each other since my sister's wedding four years ago. It was nice to "reconnect". My aunt has two daughters, 16 and 19, and a large golden retriever. The house was busy but fun.

As for the funeral itself, it was a lovely ceremony. My grandfather had been "doing poorly" for a long time. It was a relief for all involved (my grandfather included I believe) that he died. His health , both physical and mental, was very bad at the end and no one believed that his quality of life was good.

We had a nice reunion and looked through old photos and papers. Reliving good times and bad and telling stories to each other was fun and educational. I hope everyone can have such a lovely ceremony to celebrate their life. My aunt prepared everything and I give her all the credit I can for burying her father is such a respectful and loving was. Everyone should have such a nice "send off".

1) to "pass on" - This is a phrasal verb that has two meanings. One meaning is to "refuse" or "say no to"something. "Did you pass on the whipped cream for your coffee beverage?"

The second meaning is relevant to my family situation. To "pass on" is to "die". There are many expressions we use in English to mean "die". Some are quite respectful: "pass on", "move on", leave this Earthly plane",and to be "lost" ("I'm sorry for your loss." or "When did you lose him?"). Some expressions are very casual and may be considered callous depending on whom you are talking to or about. These can include: "croak", "kick the bucket", "buy the farm", and "buy it". I would recommend never using the latter list no matter to whom you are talking. You never know how someone will react to your comments about their loved one's Passing" even when their own comments seem casual or flippant.

2) a "road trip" - Very simply, this is an extended car ride. It can actually be any length of time from a few hours to days or longer. "Did they have a good vacation?" "They had a great vacation. Their road trip took them all across the western half of the country."

3) "out of the question" - Another way to say this is "there is no possibility" or "absolutely not". In answer to your wife asking for you to increase your vacation time, you could respond that you asked your boss already and he told you that, "It is out of the question." This expression is very common and can be used anywhere, including at the workplace. But be careful that you really mean it when you say it. This is an absolute answer.

4) to "wing it" - Another phrasal verb with at least two definitions. The way it was used in the short story above, we "winged it" to Winnipeg, the meaning is we "took a plane" or  we "flew". This is not an overly common expression anymore but you can use it without embarrassing yourself. "How are you getting to your business meeting in Chicago?" "I plan on winging it."

The other definition of to "wing it" is to do something without preparing for it in advance. "Are you studying for your exam tomorrow?" "No. I'm going to wing it. The exam only constitutes 20% so I am choosing to concentrate on my essay instead." Although this is an expression that can be used anywhere, you probably do not want to use it at work. At least not in front of your superior at the office because this expression suggests a lack of preparation and therefore a lack of interest. If your boss asks you if you are prepared for  the sales meeting and you say that you are planning on "winging it", it is likely that your boss will lose confidence in you and you will not be in charge at the next meeting.

"Winging it" can also be used to describe a situation where you do not have an obvious showing of your preparedness. Maybe you have given the same presentation about the product you sell to numerous different groups. In the beginning, you may have gone to the presentations with a written script but after the twentieth time, you may decide to "wing it" by doing the presentation without note cards. Although you may look unprepared, this does not mean you are not capable of doing he job without the physical support of a written script.

5) to "reconnect" - To "reconnect" is to "connect again". If your internet goes down, you may need to reconnect to it by having your computer search for the wi-fi source. "Reconnecting" with family or old friends is a common way to explain how we get close to someone that we haven't seen or spent time with for a long time. "I went to my high school reunion last year. I had a good time because it gave me the opportunity to reconnect with my best friend when we were 16."

6) a proper "send off" - A "send off" or "send-off" is a way to celebrate someone leaving some place. "We gave Iker a great send off when he moved to Malta for his new job. We had a big party and everyone told him how much they would miss him." We can use it in many situations including a funeral ceremony. The ceremony and the time we spent remembering my grandfather was, in my opinion, a very nice send off.